Daugther Mama Drama

It has come to a point where my mother and I don't even speak the same language. She dislikes the fact that I have a mind of my own and I choose to follow my heart. It's not the way a "young African girl" is supposed to be, or so she says.

Tradition is complicated, especially when it clashes. I'm Americanized to the tenth power, and it's not even my fault. I never asked to be moved a hundred times, I'm thankful because it gave me the opportunity to keep an open mind (which I think I'm losing since we've been stationary for a while), but at the same time, you could image how confused and unstable I am as a person.

She and my father have instilled these values in me, old and new school you could say, and now she wants me to go back to the old school values because she's not happy with the results. I can't at this point, not completely, I can only grow and develop into something better. It's hard to do so when there's someone always criticizing you, always complaining about the way you speak, the people you're around, the activities you choose to indulge in. I know she's a mother, she worries, blah blah, but I'm trying. It's even harder when it's two people who are the same with different time periods in their heads. That's why we argue so much.

She shut me down on my Long Island pt 2 trip. She shut me down hard, almost made me cry. Now I feel like shit because I made a promise I can't keep because of someone else, it's not even my own bullshit fault. ( I need a job) She has me watching this devil child to keep me in the house. O my god, have you ever just wanted to explode? Just to prove a point...

...: Sigh: Maybe when I'm older and I have evil lil tima's I'll understand right? Maybe I won't. Anji I'm sorry, don't hate me...