HaPPy MeLLa's BirThday...o yea and Halloween too

HAPPY BOITDAY MELLA....YOU'RE FINALLY 20! HOPE YOU HAVE LOTS OF FUN STUFFING YOUR FACE WITH CANDY AND CAKE...MISS YA MUCHO! I know you heard about the yankees...ya dominican ass better not be a Boston fan for the year neither, I will disown you. I'll be back on the sinking Island to say hello soon as skool becomes monotonous again. Mucho Besos Chuletta! LoL (ya ain't know i was tri-lingual did ya...)

I'm feeling awfully icky at the moment. My throat feels like it began closing up while i was sleeping and decided against it minutes before i woke up. It's painfully sore and I'm begining to wonder if it was the 17 chocolate chip cookies that could be responsible...

Damn that chocolate, always pulling me in!

MiMi don't hit me, it's that time of the month. My emotions are flowing and chocolate has this epidural effect on me once ingested, all the pain goes away...

Okay people, ya know I have nothing but love for you and I'm not the most Political person (except when it comes to revolting against the govt and being my daddy's daughter), but I feel I should remind you all that Bush is like Crack- ASS and WACK!

I don't even know how many of my friends are in Iraq or Afghanistan fighting a useless war. J. Diaz is in the Navy for God's sake... Yea there was terror and all that but last time I checked, it was Osama we were looking for. I'm not even gonna get into that, and maybe I shouldn't call the war useless but...that's not even the least of the problems.

Did you know that One euro equals one dollar and twenty six cents? Which mean the economy isn't so great. I mean it’s not that bad considering we're comparing it to like most of Europe but still, the all American dollar is losing its power. I mean there's a lot of little issues. For those of you with kids, you gotta think about their education and health insurance and how much you're paying for clothes and Milk.

Freaking $4 bucks for a damn gallon of milk that expires in a week? Man listen…

Point is… you need to vote if you can. Whether it’s for Bush or Kerry, you need to get out there and pick a president. Don’t you remember, the children are the future? Wake up fuckers the future is now!

VOTE !!! You don’t have to die, but I’m sure if you don’t vote, CHuCky's coming afta you!

Malcolm's Thoughts

Tie me up and call me Spanky!

I gotta be digging you like crazy for you to get the cuddly romantic mushy gush part of me. But dudes seem to just assume that because I’m friendly and loving I’ll get attached.

Me? Attached to something other than phones and my internet? NEVER!

But this one guy, we’ll call him Mr. Pink, felt the need to remind me that I cannot be attached in a friends with benefit situation. I was almost hurt that he would think that I, TiPeach the princess, would get attached. I mean don’t get it twisted I’m digging him like crazy but we both are in a place where friendship is more important that jumping in all that mushy shit. Just because we cuddled, doesn't it mean I’m going get attached, does it?

I mean yes I own a vagina and it comes with all these stereotypes and complications, but my testosterone level is off the charts (would explain my sexual appetite but I wonder where the beard and detachable penis come from…) Point is, I don’t get attached to whoever treats me nicely.

I do however believe that a consistent physical connection that is satisfying your sexual needs and desires makes you come back for more. The more you’re satisfied the more likely you are to get attached to the person satisfying you and begin looking at him from a romantic point of view despite the contract you may have. Simply, fuck buddies catch feelings after a while, of course that’s circumstantial but I think the sexually active masses will agree with me.

You can definitely have a friendship as the basis of your sexual relationship with someone who understands whatever terms you lay down, but that doesn’t mean your not going to look at him/her one day and think, damn ‘Mr. Pink is so cute when he burps and scratches his ass’. I mean shit happens, natures a bitch. Spring makes you horny, winter makes you mushy…

Man I don’t know…maybe he told me that because he wants me to get attached, on some reverse psych shit. Maybe cuz he doesn’t know me as well as I’d like him to, most people don’t anyway. Eh fugedaboudit…it’s nothing…Just know that cuddling doesn’t always lead to attachment, not in my world anyway.

They're happy tears....really

It like the bubbling cauldron of emotion has been poured onto the fire. I am numb, not because my heart stopped beating; it's the truth that has punctured it and frozen my body as my it bled...

It was this feeling of freedom and agonizing pain at the same time. My nonchalant state was quickly altered when the truth was spoken, just when denial started getting comfy in my soul.

The truth never seems to find me peacefully, it's always a big commotion, a big hoo-ha. I don't even know...where to begin. My minds just replaying the words...making this last year, so much more unreal that it already has been....i need to talk about it, but i can't. My pain isn't letting me.

It's funny because I had to write a paper on Destructive Love. I was putting it off because i said i didn't have enough to write about, I couldn't even get past the introduction. Irony again. Damn that irony, always there to laugh in your face, kick you when you've already been thrown down the stairs into a pile of tacks and rusty nails while being repeatedly stung by angry bees.

I know i can move on from this and not feel like i may be missing out on this great experience love is supposed to be. I mean i've been saying for so long I was over him. So why does the truth even matter now....

Because it still hurts, now matter how long it's been since he's been by my side....

Yadda Yadda Yadda....

You know guys, I'ma shitty writter. Well maybe not shitty, but like inconsistent, unfocused, and a whole bunch of other negative things i really dont feel like writing about myself. The point is, there is no point i just felt like saying that. So how about ya don't down me and shit, i don't do this for a living, it's like a hobby. I thank you....

In other news, a year has passed since my heart last danced with love. The music stopped too early, and i lost the beat in my step, stumbling foward into the arms of the temporary. Love no longer liked to watch me move. These days, it's loneliness that's overcome my soul, driven me mad, mad for love unspoken. Yearning for the passion filled freestyle dances for our lips, choreographed by the rhythm of our hearts unison...it's too bad i'ma shitty dancer...

I want to move out of my house so badly. I just finished getting the "tima, your the bad kinda gemini" speech. At one point there was like 6 pair of "twins" living here, running around tryna find their true selves. Any way, birthing me a week before her own birthday, my mom definitely had no idea that i'd be this much trouble (it's her, not me). I'm so tired of being the lost and confused, crazy and deranged, unstable and annoying gemini. I mean shit, the fact that i'm 20 and going through this whole " finding my self and forming my foundation for my 30's" stage could be the reason why. But don't tell the family that! No No, God forbid I actually be sane and just living the young adult life in this great country called America.

I'm just tired of the criticism. I can taste the freedom everytime I'm in manhathan. Just teasing me block after block. I even get this weird feeling in my stomach every time i go to the city, like my soul is fighting my physical... I know what needs to be done, and i needn't speak on it any more.

I'm happy again!

Hiya guys, i know i've been in a stinky mood lately but i'm a-otay now! Yanks been doing well and so have the Giants so im chin chilling....gotta get Mos' album still, I'm broke.

So I've been asking some people if guys and girls can be friends...like a platonic relationship where the two aren't mushy or humping, and lots of people, can't tell you how much cuz it was a bootleg survey. But basically, everyone feels like yes, a platonic relationship can be achieved between a male and a female but sooner or later, someone is going to want some booty. Attraction increases as you get to know someone you're compatible with i guess. Friendship is a good basis for a relationship. I mean you get to know a person without all the romance clouding your vision so u can get the best and worst from them. I now can understand why my boyfriends had problems with me having so many male friends.

After a while you start looking at that friend and thinking, " gee, 'kyle' sure would look good in a male thong and some chaps..." Maybe not the chaps but you get my point.

But as i think about it, unless the friend is gay/lesbian, or freaking ugly to the point where your friendship is based on you feeling sorry for them, there is no way u can avoid having to deal with someone catching feelings or wanted to flap. That's just the way life works.

Ok enough of that i really didn't want delve into that, frankly i'm tired of writing...it seems like people feel i need an editor because i ramble...but last time i cheked this was the 'rants and raves of a psycho peach' ....anyhoo...i'm outie...gotta go bore some more people...

shit aint sweet no more....

these days are filled with repetitive speeches and annoying people. I'm tired of the know-it-alls that don't even have their lives together. And if one more person tells me how fucked up i am for not calling em....actually if u feel that within the next few days your going to try to yell at me, just ask yourself this;

1. are you helping me find a job?
2. you helping me make any type of money?
3. are you gonna pay my phone bill and credit cards?
4. or are you gonna sit, bitch, and moan about how i need to call you so i can know that your bf looked at the next bitch or that your girlfriend might be a liar?

if it's question 4 that pops up, don't bother cuz right now i don't need friends to comfort or badger me i need friends to aid me in my seemingly neverending journey for freedom and independence. I'm tired guys, of the bullshit from everyone, not excluding myself of course. Again, i apologize if i haven't been here for you like u'd like me to, but i do have a life to live. And although it's going nowhere fast, i'm in the process of working on that. So please work with me. If you're against me....it's been nice knowing you.

I'm too old for the bullshit, too young for the headaches, so please fall back if you coming to me with either one. Shit ain't sweet no more, i got growing up to do and i'm not letting anyone stunt my growth.

Peace.

saturday night....

From your looks, i could tell you were disappointed in the nights end.
You showed it when you pushed me against my wall as we layed .
Maybe you're a selish sleeper, but the forced affection proved me right.
So i asked " why the arm around me?" , but you brushed me off with that annoying ' i'm not answering' laugh.
I should have expected it, but giving you the benefit made the doubt disappear.
It's funny how the temporary works, how i knew all along.
Now you casually ask questions as if my life were a major concern, but deep down we both know.
Your girl calls, you answer quickly, but when the question is asked, you hesitate. Don' t try to explain what i already understand, because there's no such thing as a 'week long girlfriend'.
Those words bring no comfort to my soul, instead they push me to demote you; friendship is your last chance.
The temporary is just that, temporary, so don't worry yourself.
I'm already over it, over you...