so then what time is it?

...The 20's are a time of self-discovery. We frantically search for the right career, relationships, goals, and the right kind of fun that fits in our lives.We splurge, free ourselves from our youth and gain a step towards the realm of stable adulthood.Defined in one word, confusion; the permanent state of our early 20's.Questions arise concerning everything, especially romantic relations.




...Since it is the early stages, how do we know if one should commit to a relationship? If one did, it would require a great deal of self-control. As a female, i'm faced with so many interested parties. Most just want a fling, while others sincerely dig on my ability to be a good girlfriend, possibly wife and mother.




...COnfusion is my state of mind. ALthough my yearnings for a stable, consistent and committed relationship with a compatible individual cloud my mind and heart at times, I feel it may be too soon to settle down. With the never ending and ever growing circles of friends, associates, and lovers- it's hard to cut off fulfilling relationships to stick to just one romantic partner.




...Childrearing, in my case, can only spring from a relatively stable marriage, so it's not a concern at the moment. I don't plan on tying the knot for at least 2 years.





...But how does one know if singlehood or a committed relationship is right for these times fo self-discovery? Doesn't a relationship force you to focus on an 'US'instead of 'ME', therefore taking the spotlight off an individual's search for personal stability and their place in this chaotic world?




Or is it one of those things one learns to balance with time?




...Will i be able to succesfully establish myself as an individual if i'm with someone that takes up most of my time and thoughts? QUESTIONS!




...In my previous relationships, which only last for an average of 3 months including the dating period, i usually break it off when i feel it's getting too serious. Ironically enough, after leaving one, passion filled moments with the next man pull me back into the relationship i've been trying so desperately but unsuccessfully to avoid so i may grow and establish myself as an indie.




...Only one year into my 20's, I've managed to break a couple of hearts, including my own. Confusion is to blame...I JUST DON'T KNOW. Most advise me to just go with the flow and let things happen, while others insist i embrace singlehood and enjoy everything it has to offer. Although i love living my life with no obligations, there's a void in my soul that can only be filled with the unconditional love of a man who has captured my heart. We all want that knight in shinning armor. Shelthered hearts fantasize about love, while jaded New yorkers yearn for that perfect stable, 'cute couple of the year' relationship that permits us to still be ourselves. Okay maybe just me and my homegirls. But reality sucks...and the perfect man does not come pre-packaged; you gotta find all the ingredients and mix and bake yourself. And it definitely does not take 20 brownie minutes.




...So the question remains...I don't think there's any correct answer, it varies for each individual. As for myself, I'm gonna do the relationship thing and actually put effort towards making it work. Besides, i think you only get one soulmate a lifetime....pray for us!