dancing on foreign land

maybe what i needed all along, was to keep moving around. I've lived in different countries for different lenghts of time. I was fine, happy, productive and progressing.


Maybe it isn't meant for me to be in one place for this long. Because as great, as free, as diverse, fascinating, as expensive, as many opportunites people have in the US, I don't seem to be experiencing life as I should be.


I have no home. I am a stranger in my own country, an immigrant in this one. I cannot go anywhere and claim it my own. I am my own home. And my house is chaotic, crazy, unstable, emotional, distant, confused. My home is dirty.


Maybe I just need a fresh start, on fresh soil, in a different time zone, and culture, and mentality. Maybe that's what kickstarts my journey...a move.


I can change my number, change my friends, I changed my school, I can change my address. But as long as I am here... I am fucking depressed, and annoying, and crazy, and unstable. I have a better life than most. But I am still unhappy, empty, resentful, distraught, inactive.


I have to consider moving. Cuz I don't think there is any foward movement in the cards for me here.